To Skate On Sun

HandsOnTheWheel-1
I'm a complex girl
with the simple desire to represent
everything I came here with.
Sat-Dec-2011
16 notes

What I Learned in 2011

I learned that I don’t trust myself

to hold my own water.

I learned that I am loud

and big footed; that I

cover enough land to be

my own island.
I learned that there is

nothing to gain from being 

my own island.

I learned that my heart is

a swollen plank of regrets

that are not my own.

I learned to let go of

what isn’t my own

and to claim only what

bares its punctured chest

to mine.

I learned that a father is

not the man

who taxis you across

a fault line,

but rather a myriad of

lessons that will

sweep themselves into

your pockets for when

you need them most.

I learned to say “Daddy,

you hurt me”

without the intent of

hurting him too.

I learned that my mother’s

stone wall is her ability

to pretend, and her desire to grin

for the lightning.

I learned to stop pretending.

I learned to start forcing

myself to stop pretending.

I learned to know but

also to not know because

sometimes ignorance

is the only raft in an ocean

of big winds.

I learned to open myself 

up to love,

and to its many hands.

I learned to say yes

while not forgetting the

necessary fist of no.

 

I learned to wait 

on myself;

to be patient with myself;

to be enough for myself.

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